Incredibly Tragic Backstory Unisex T-shirt

Your parents? Dead.

Your hometown? Gone.

Your mentor? Betrayed you.

Your will to live? Just enough to fuel vengeance.

Sound familiar? Of course—because in D&D, if your backstory isn’t Shakespeare-level tragic, did you even roll a character?

This shirt says what your character sheet is already screaming.

Every D&D table has one:

The brooding barbarian whose family was killed by goblins
The warlock whose patron also destroyed their village
The paladin who swore an oath to a god that ghosted them

And the DM? Just nodding along, mentally trashing 90% of your tragic prologue—because, let’s be real, the party is just gonna murderhobo and fight over pocket loot.

Wear your character sheet on your chest.
Let the world know you’ve suffered (or at least your character has).
Preemptively mock the inevitable DM sigh when you hand over a three-page backstory.

Your backstory was written in blood.

Your fate? Sealed in dice rolls.

Your future? Probably ignored for a side quest about chickens.

But at least you can wear this shirt as a badge of honor.

The real tragedy? You don’t own it yet. Grab yours before your edge dulls.

More from February 2025 - Grungeons & Dragons vol. 2

The grunge era never died—it just took a long rest. Now it’s back, and it brought dice. Grungeons & Dragons Vol. 2 cranks the distortion even higher, fusing epic fantasy with 90s grunge rebellion in a way that hits harder than a natural 20 on a performance check. (Alice in Chains MTV unplugged)

Adventurers don’t need polished armor and high fantasy clichés—some just show up in ripped flannel, combat boots, and a dagger they found in a thrift shop. Some heroes don’t write ballads; they scream battle cries into the void.

This collection is for the ones who fight the establishment dragons with nothing but attitude, roll dice like they’re betting their last cigarette, and know that every campaign is just a concept album waiting to be played.