Incredibly Tragic Backstory Tee

Your parents? Dead.

Your hometown? Gone.

Your mentor? Betrayed you.

Your will to live? Just enough to fuel vengeance.

Sound familiar? Of course—because in D&D, if your backstory isn’t Shakespeare-level tragic, did you even roll a character?

This shirt says what your character sheet is already screaming.

Every D&D table has one:

• The brooding barbarian whose family was killed by goblins
• The warlock whose patron also destroyed their village
• The paladin who swore an oath to a god that ghosted them

And the DM? Just nodding along, mentally trashing 90% of your tragic prologue—because, let’s be real, the party is just gonna murderhobo and fight over pocket loot.

1. Wear your character sheet on your chest.
2. Let the world know you’ve suffered (or at least your character has).
3. Preemptively mock the inevitable DM sigh when you hand over a three-page backstory.

Your backstory was written in blood.

Your fate? Sealed in dice rolls.

Your future? Probably ignored for a side quest about chickens.

But at least you can wear this shirt as a badge of honor.

The real tragedy? You don’t own it yet. Grab yours before your edge dulls.